PHP is, in many communities, scorned and even trivialized for many reasons—a lack of asynchrony being one of the biggest detractions. Fallacies as egregious as the aforestated derision are intolerable because of the language’s current robustness. Asynchrony—using interleaved processes in a single thread—is available to users of the PHP language to address the inefficiencies of inherently slow input/output operations. We can implement it either via language modules like Swoole or idiomatic PHP solutions like ReactPHP and Amp.